At a friend's gathering, a boy with whom he was very close got drunk. He told me about his first love.
He said that the girl treated him well. Back in college, he loved to compete with his brothers for alcohol. After getting drunk, the girl would drag him back, make him stomach soup, wash his body and wash his clothes. He said to me, I don't know how she dragged him home when she was so small.
I don't know how she silently cleans up the mess by herself every time she is drunk.
I don't know how she looked at him drunk with heartache.
Later, they broke up because the girl's family conditions were not good and she did not have a formal job after graduation. The boy's family had always opposed it. His mother even said that she would kick him out. They persisted for several years, but still lost to reality.
He said: I rarely get drunk now.
I said: Is it because I am old and I have to pay attention to my body?
He said: No, it was because I got drunk one day and found myself sleeping in the car all night. No one came to me, and no one cared whether I was cold or safe.
I said: Where is your wife?
He said: She told me, I don't care if you drink, but don't bother me when you are drunk.
His current wife met on a blind date later. She got married and had children within a year. She couldn't say she loved each other very much, and treated each other as guests.
Her wife hardly hangs out with him and his brothers. She has her own world and friends.
I couldn't say that I cared very much about him. I would do whatever I needed to do, but I wouldn't indulge him too much.
I wouldn't care if he and his brother went out and drank very drunk, but I wouldn't clean up the mess for him and wash his body after he was drunk, or make a hot bowl of nourishing tea for him.
But she is a girl that his parents think is good. She has good family affairs, a stable job, and a good personality.
He and she are a match that the secular public likes to see.
His daughter's name is Siqi
It was the name he was determined to choose.
He once carried him home when he was drunk and silently accompanied him to take care of the girl who had loved him for many years. Her nickname was Qiqi.
When they were still very in love, he joked: If one day you leave me, I will name my child Siqi. I will miss you all my life.
In the end, they lost to reality.
He really can only miss her in one name.
Recently, I have a married good friend who keeps chatting with me.
One night after 11 o'clock, she called me.
I asked her where she was? She said she was on her way home from overtime.
I said: Alone? She said yes.
Why didn't you ask your husband to pick you up?
She said he was playing cards. Tell me to take a taxi home by myself.
I knew that the place where she worked was in the new district, and sometimes she couldn't get a cab even if she walked far at night.
I was silent for a moment and originally wanted to say: Shall I pick you up?
But she was afraid that this would make her feel sad.
Later, she walked for nearly 20 minutes before getting a taxi.
I said I would pick her up, but she refused, saying that it was not safe for a girl like you to go out.
Then she said: My own husband is not worried about me. He didn't come to pick me up. What are you worried about?
I could hear the disappointment in her words.
She told me about her college sweetheart.
She said: At that time, he didn't even feel comfortable letting me go downstairs alone to buy some snacks and wanted to accompany me.
Later, she interned at a communications company and got off work at 9:30. He rode a bicycle to pick her up every day.
After three months of internship, 90 nights, I waited at the company door every night.
She said she would never forget the scene in her life.
Then what? After graduating from college, her parents arranged a stable job for her in this city.
The boy has been passed down by three generations, and his parents are clamoring for him to go back every day.
He expected her to come to his city.
But she was afraid of the unpredictable future there.
The only daughter of her parents. There are stable jobs here who love her parents, family, classmates and friends.
When she went there, she only had him.
The two were in a long-distance relationship for some time.
Later, she became increasingly insecure and gave up the relationship.
She said that when she got married, the boy sent back everything she left with him.
Among them were gadgets she had used many years ago, trinkets, earrings, change purse, and towels with her name embroidered on it.
After all these years of breaking up, he still keeps it.
The couple's number that they used to use together, the one that the boy used, still keeps it.
He once said: This number is always open for you at any time.
I knew she was crying.
But I couldn't comfort him.
She's married.
Her husband is satisfied by her family. She has a car and a house, and everyone says she is very suitable for her.
Getting married at 28 is not too early.
Her husband would not spoil her like he did.
In her husband's eyes, she is an adult and can solve many things on her own.
She said: My husband often says that you are not a child anymore and you can do many things yourself.
So I went to the supermarket alone to carry a lot of things home, so I took a taxi home after working late at 11 o'clock
So I got used to this kind of faint loss.
So…
On the night when I go home alone, I still think of the figure waiting outside the company door on a bicycle to pick you up.
I still miss that person.
Although, there is no way to go back.
How many people are there?
Will be home alone at night, drunk late at night.
Remember the people who were with you in the past.
Those who have done so much good for you, but have not been with you in the end.
How many people will, many years later,
He is still willing to treat someone with his heart and soul like this.
You said: I will never love someone without regrets again.
So you become a stingy person.
I also got a lover with reservations.
There is a person hidden in your heart, a past that cannot be returned.
The person next to you may be the same.
Their stupidest and best times.
Gave it to another person.
Is reality too cruel? Or lost to time? Or are they not firm enough? Still not learning to cherish?
The people around you now are people that the world thinks are a good match for you.
Who cares how much you were loved by one person?
Who cares how much you once loved someone?
Sometimes, this is the helplessness of life anyway.